And so our journey begins....

Where do I even begin. I've been wanting to vent and write a post for a few days now but I did not know where to start. Hell I just recently began to process what has been happening and how our lives have changed in a matter seconds. Who would of thought 6 little letters could turn your whole world upside down. But that's what cancer does it invades your life like an unwanted stranger. When I first initially found out that Brandon had a brain tumor I felt like someone sucked the life out of me. I could hardly breathe, I pretty much gave myself an asthma attack. I called my boss and informed her of what happened, she came right back to the office. She's more than boss she's one of my closest friends and has always been there when I needed her most. My next phone call was to my parents. My dad is a very strong man and just calmly talked to me telling me everything will be ok and that I needed to be strong for Brandon. At that very moment I knew I could not go home a bawling mess I had to be strong for Brandon, our kids, for everyone. I didn't want anyone to see me breakdown, especially Brandon because I needed him to be strong enough to fight this thing.

That night I searched the internet to find answers. Our doctor at the time pretty much led us to a dead end and I needed to find our way out and plan our next move. I had a copy of our MRI so I found email addresses of neurosurgeons and began emailing them. Once 8am hit I was making phone calls to every hospital around here. Then I finally started to get responses and phone calls back from P.A. and medical assistants stating they have spoken with there neurosurgeons and that he should of never been sent home. So off to Loma Linda Hospital we went. The next fews days pretty much ran together for me. I didn't sleep much knowing he was there and not next to me in bed. When surgery day came I was a nervous wreck. One being I didn't even get to kiss him goodbye before they wheeled him back, since he went in before visiting hours even started. Two HOLY CRAP my husband is having brain surgery. The nice thing about Loma Linda is they give you a pager to guide you step by step through the surgery. At 10:33 am I received a text that surgery had started, then I began to calm down a little more. I kind of just sat there talking to family and friends as we waited. They anticipated surgery being at least 6 hours so I know we had a long day ahead of us. Then 27 minutes later I receive another text "Please go down to the main lobby the surgeon wants to meet with you". Right then I sprang out of that seat and ran down stairs as fast as I could. What the hell could of gone wrong in 27 minutes, this surgery was suppose to last 6 hours. It seriously felt like eternity waiting for the surgeon to arrive. Almost 30 minutes later after pacing the lobby and breaking down in tears the surgeon finally arrived. Before he could even make it the lobby I ran to him. First words out of his mouth "Surgery went well" Oh THANK THE LORD everything was ok. He then proceeded to tell us there was a little bit of complications due to him not breathing right with the first intubation tube, so they were unable to take away the tumor but instead did a biopsy.

The next couple of hours we were back in the day room waiting for them to wheel Brandon back from surgery I wanted him to see me as soon as he got out of that elevator. I just needed to know he was ok and he was. In good old Brandon fashion he was already cracking jokes and making fun of my mother. It made me so happy that he was alright. He seriously was like a rock star out of surgery. Wanting to eat already, asking us to put the laker game on, visiting with friends and family. Wow I didn't even feel that well after having a C-section with the kids and here he is after brain surgery acting like it's nothing. I'm a wimp compared to him . The next day I was there first thing at 8 am cause I knew they were going to discharge him. So as we waited for the doctors to sign his release form we watched Crocodile Dundee of all things. But it just felt good to spend some quality time together. Then at about 10:15 am a new doctor came in, but this is a teaching hospital so we were use to seeing a lot of doctors and medical students. She introduced herself as Dr. P from hematology/oncology. At that moment my heart just sank why in the world would she becoming to see us. They just did the biopsy yesterday and they said it would take 5-7 days to get results. She informed us that the preliminary results came back as a low grade glioma. I stared at her like she was talking a foreign language. I no longer was listening to what was coming out of her mouth at all I can remember was that word cancer. This nightmare wasn't ending it was getting worse. The last thing I remember her saying was we do need to wait for the final results cause things can change. At that point I was hoping they would come back Friday and tell us that they were wrong and it was benign.

Then Friday came and the doctor stated those ugly words again cancer. It was a stage 2 glioma and most stage 2 they just keep an eye on it, but with Brandon's type they wanted to start treatment soon. So that leaves us with today waiting for the cancer center to call us back as to when our first appointment will be and where we go from here. The unknown has to be the hardest. And now the first round of medical bills have already started to come in and it makes me sick to my stomach wondering how do we afford these with the rest of the normal daily bills we have to pay. It makes me sad that even when you are at the lowest point in your life you still have to worry about these things. Our dream was to buy a house at the end of this year and finally stop renting. Have a home to call our own, this might be put on a back burner for awhile but I know one day it will happen.

Before I go I do want to say thank you to all of our friends and family that have stood by our side through this. You have been so amazing and we could not do this without you. I have a hard time asking anyone for help but you have all been there helping us in one way or another. We have a long journey ahead of us, but I know in a few years from now we will beat this and it will make us stronger. To my husband your an amazing man and father. Your whole outlook and demeanor on this has been such a positive one. Your never cease to amaze me. I will be by your side through this entire journey and you will be a cancer survivor. And by the way hubby your still taking me to Hawaii to renew our vows when this is all said and done. =)

Our dating days

Our friends who have been our rock

Our family that continues to give there love and support

Our many trips to the happiest place on earth

One of the best days of our life

Now it's time to kick Cancer's butt, we will win.